[Neilzip]

FED UP by Neilzip

"Ooops! Sorry about the T-Rex, Lara!" Derek shouted laughing.

He was not really sorry. Derek was a TOMB RAIDER expert, having played every game that came out and
completeing every level. However, he took a perverse pleasure in "killing" Lara. The tomb raider had been
eaten, ripped apart, drowned, shot, impaled among others. Of course, Derek also had gone through a
rather nasty breakup with his ex-girlfriend and Lara was the perfect foil for his vitriol. Derek figured: Lara
was a computer game. It wasn't like she had any feelings.

RIIIIIIIINNNNG!!! The telephone interrupted Derek's reverie.

"Oops." Derek reset the game and turned off the television set and the XBOX. "That would be the pizza.
I'll see you tommorrow, Lara."

Derek left to answer the telephone. However, as he left, he did not notice the television and XBOX turn back
on and Lara walking to the edge of the screen and glaring out, extremely pissed off.

[Neilzip]

The next day, Derek returned from work and turned on the television. GIRLS NEXT DOOR was on and the
episode was about Hugh Hefner and his ladyfriends-Holly, Kendra and Bridget, putting together a Fourth of
July party. 'Never fails to cheer me up.' Derek sat down to relaxed when he sensed someone behind him.

"Hello, Derek." The voice was a very familiar posh-accented alto. 'Can't be.'

Derek turned around and almost started seeing a very familiar figure dressed in very familiar tanktop,
khaki shorts and workboots. Her copper hair was set in a very familiar French braid and her lovely
features were twisted into mask of controlled fury, save for a smile which seemed to drip blood.

"Lara!" Derek exclaimed. "How--Wha--How did you get here? WHAT are you doing here?"

"You what they say about characters taking on a life of their own," Lara replied. "As to why I am here,
I'm afraid, as you Americans say, 'I have a bone to pick with you', Derek Martin."

"Which is what?" However, Derek had a feeling he knew what the beef would be.